Flashback
Hi
No warning
You look like another lane on the highway to manage but
No one else sees you so
I drive defensely across time-travel zones now
Hey we're moving!
This is not
Appeance & Reality chit-chat over Friday beer
This is
Life & Death so drive carefully and
Nobody gets hurt.
Hi
No sound
You creep into my brain like another language to decipher but
No one else hears you so
I keep going with the other words
Hey we're talking!
This is not
United Nations level interpretation
This is
Stay-in-your-lane conversation
So keep it one-dimensional and
Nobody gets hurt.
Hi
No tears
You take my breath and mobility but
Everyone's watching so
I need to keep the paralysis short and sweet
No one sees the hand over my mouth
Held down to stop screaming
That's the logic of this thing
If you're sane
(Yes Golyadkin so nice if insanity can take you away!)
Cry later so
Nobody gets hurt
Well
Almost nobody.
17 JANUARY 2023
____
[Complex PTSD, like Complex Grief, compounds the strength of flashbacks by forcing multi-dimensions of awareness into our linear timeline of memories. Acceptable PTSD, like Acceptable Grief—the one that ends after the funeral and responds to the correct therapy—is supposed to end after the veteran gets back to the normal safe world. Some of us don't ever get there. Over thirty of every 100,000 veterans commit suicide. I dedicate these words to all veterans of violence, with and without medals.]